When thinking about the best sex you could have with your partner, it’s good to picture how you would think they’d like to be touched, teased, and brought to an explosive orgasm, just from knowing their most intimate touch points. In the same way, having that feeling of giving your partner their best-ever orgasms can be a badge of pride, and will strengthen the bond between you.
So here’s our guide to him, from her, on the best sex you can give to please your partner.
Put yourself in her shoes
It’s not as hard as you think. If you consider how and where you want to be touched, then you generally know the feeling. Sensitive areas such as the neck, ears, flanks and so on are famous erogenous zones, and if you can imagine how it feels to be stroked in those areas, then you can imagine the sensation onto your partner when you do the same.
Think about massage, and even use it to practice. Ask your partner to massage you first, understanding the rhythms and paying attention to where they focus on (it’s a clue for the next part.) Then, when it’s your turn, pay attention to those same areas. You’ll know that’s what they like, or think to go for. Added to this, ask your partner about speed, pressure and where to go to next – whether the lower back or neck. Add to the mood with scented candles, and dim the lights, and you’ve got the makings for mind-blowing, attentive sex, all the while getting to know what your partner really wants.
Think about your touch
If you and your partner are getting hot and bothered, and you just have to passionately take charge, just make sure that when you touch her, and whatever it is with, that it’s wet. Always.
Gently slide two fingers on the outside of the entrance to her vagina. She might be all over you, but getting wet is a complicated thing. She might be going crazy for you, but the wetness may not have reached the outside yet. Whatever you do, don't go in dry. It’s tempting to lick your fingers, but this is a very short term solution – saliva dries up fast, and can leave you sticky, creating more friction and hurting her.
Getting close with anything dry — fingers, your penis, and toys— means she has to move around to get her outside lips slippery. Even if this does only take a few moments, those seconds of dry discomfort can take her mind off how good everything else feels. On the other hand, it’s a turn-on for her to feel "wet at first touch".
Understanding erogenous zones
Getting to know both what most people think of as erogenous zones, and those areas that are particular to your partner, can be both a fun learning experience. It is also a good reason to fool around. Apart from the most obvious areas, explore her feet (particularly areas between the toes) as well as wrists, and lips. Although the last might be a no-brainer, lightly biting, sucking, or simply kissing the corners of her mouth could drive her crazy.
It’s been said that a woman’s most intimate area is her ear, and not just for kisses, and bites, but also for hearing. Making it good for her is all about making her feel secure. It’s only when she’s at her most relaxed, and without any doubts or fears in her mind that climax will be in all caps. Foreplay that’s emotional (words, gestures, affection) will lead her to relax, and give over to great sex.