In a way, intimacy means that every body part is available to your partner, and is also a way to explore and excite without boundaries. To best please your partner, using your hands to stimulate or to play can lead to new sensations, and new ways to grow close. Of course, you may not know every trick in the book (just yet) but we’re here to give you some ideas and a few tips to help you become a master, or mistress, of dexterity.

Awkward moments

Whether it be a fumble, or a tumble, or just a missed grasp, those awkward moments that might throw you off can happen. But there’s no reason to stop. The best way to react to an honest mistake is laughter. Sex can be a funny, messy activity where you’re exposing yourself, so be aware of what could or has happened, and just let it roll off, while getting right back on.

Let yourself go!

Being in the right frame of mind can be half the battle when it comes to arousal. First of all, it’s as much about relaxing and being comfortable with who you’re with. For lovers, anything that might be on your mind, or preventing you from really letting go can be a buzzkill, so try to weigh up what it is that’s preventing you from starting, and try to leave it, for now. Exercise, meditation or even a massage can clear your mind, among a number of techniques, and get you all the more ready for passionate, engaging sex.

Remember, taking off your clothes is as much an act of faith as it is arousal, but so is letting yourself be caressed, touch and kissed. Start slow. Rushing can be a mood killer. Instead, moving from shoulders, to arms, perhaps back to the neck and then further down should be a sensual experience. Make sure you don’t just jump in, and rather pay attention to all parts of your partner’s body. Whether hugging, stroking or even tickling, your arms and hands can both be an erogenous zones, or the tool to turn things on.

Some ideas

On him: You might have heard of the frenulum, which is the more scientific term for the area underneath the crown on his penis (underneath the ridge on the bottom side). This has a bundle of potential (and nerves) that really is the switch. Running a finger along it towards the tip will stimulate these nerves, and bring out the most excitement you might see.

On her: It’s much more widely known about, but the clitoris is the go-to place, but unlike the frenulum, you really need to work your way up to it. With your fingers you can explore during foreplay, finding the spot that make her eyes widen (or might at this moment be a little too sensitive to touch). From there, take it slow, but increase the pressure, and increase the speed in a rhythm. Remember: girls are very different when it comes to what they prefer, so keep talking to her. Don’t ply her with questions, but just keep the conversation alive and ensure that you’re hitting all the right notes.